yasmin kamal
Emptying
For a while now, the world has been too painful for me to face
and so rather than fight, I caved in.
Running frantically in search for an empty space,
just so that I can hide and mend all that's broken within..
Hiding my thoughts, my noisy mind,
I slowly hid there, sitting still, not wanting to cause a scene.
My aching heart bleeds under the harsh glare of the eyes of many -
I can't take this any longer; I'm losing my sanity.
I tried to give kindness and compassion unconditionally
and though it felt good, it takes its toll on me.
For being kind often left me vulnerable and in the mercy of others
who mistook my kindness as an invitation to use me up for their own selfish purposes.
All I wanted was to give back to the world
for allowing me to survive, regardless of being out in the cold.
I never regretted not knowing warmth
though I wished I had the chance of tasting it somehow.
My own heart seems empty of love at the moment
the agony of an unrequited love, a living torment.
Yet I still try my best to fulfill my wish
of giving back to those unfortunate and in need.
Yet at this exact moment I find my back buckling under the weight;
it's starting to collapse, my legs are losing their strength.
My body screams at me to give it a rest,
pulling me down with it, into a heap of mess.
And so I hide here still, taking my refuge,
in my mind, in my heart, I try to disappear as much as I could.
My broken, battered heart needs a time out
from this cruel world that's drawing it close and emptying it out.
Icarus in Love
I've never been afraid of the dark -
I've always embraced it as my own.
I loved the darkness -
the freedom it gave me
for I could be anything I want within it -
I could be the monster that I felt I was..
And then you came -
a bursting, blinding light -
clouding my vision,
filling my head with thoughts
unlike any I've had before.
Love ...
a monster like me shouldn't covet it, no?
But you made me want it -
as long it's with you -
as long as it's for you.
You made me love you
and I can't seem to stop now.
I have fallen -
deeply
for the ray of sunshine
that you have brought
into my life.
You're like a drug running through my blood;
intoxicating and delicious -
and without, I'm delirious.
You've possessed me, my love -
you've taken control over my whole being.
You're my addiction
and I'm your helpless junkie
and I love this feeling -
I love being under your spell,
being consumed by you.
Yet you cut me off...
It's true;
a monster like me
shouldn't have covet love.
A monster like me
shouldn't have fallen for
the sun like you.
Yasmin Kamal is an undergraduate at Open University Malaysia. When she isn't busy rescuing stray cats, you can find her on Instagram, where she regularly uploads her ramblings which are thinly veiled as either prose or poetry.
(In the poet's own words) 'Emptying' is about the plight of a person who is both an empathy and introvert and their struggle to survive in the harsh, cynical world out there. 'Icarus in Love' revolves around a person who is unrequited in love with a being seen as perfect (the Sun) while they consider themselves as imperfect (the monster).
For a while now, the world has been too painful for me to face
and so rather than fight, I caved in.
Running frantically in search for an empty space,
just so that I can hide and mend all that's broken within..
Hiding my thoughts, my noisy mind,
I slowly hid there, sitting still, not wanting to cause a scene.
My aching heart bleeds under the harsh glare of the eyes of many -
I can't take this any longer; I'm losing my sanity.
I tried to give kindness and compassion unconditionally
and though it felt good, it takes its toll on me.
For being kind often left me vulnerable and in the mercy of others
who mistook my kindness as an invitation to use me up for their own selfish purposes.
All I wanted was to give back to the world
for allowing me to survive, regardless of being out in the cold.
I never regretted not knowing warmth
though I wished I had the chance of tasting it somehow.
My own heart seems empty of love at the moment
the agony of an unrequited love, a living torment.
Yet I still try my best to fulfill my wish
of giving back to those unfortunate and in need.
Yet at this exact moment I find my back buckling under the weight;
it's starting to collapse, my legs are losing their strength.
My body screams at me to give it a rest,
pulling me down with it, into a heap of mess.
And so I hide here still, taking my refuge,
in my mind, in my heart, I try to disappear as much as I could.
My broken, battered heart needs a time out
from this cruel world that's drawing it close and emptying it out.
Icarus in Love
I've never been afraid of the dark -
I've always embraced it as my own.
I loved the darkness -
the freedom it gave me
for I could be anything I want within it -
I could be the monster that I felt I was..
And then you came -
a bursting, blinding light -
clouding my vision,
filling my head with thoughts
unlike any I've had before.
Love ...
a monster like me shouldn't covet it, no?
But you made me want it -
as long it's with you -
as long as it's for you.
You made me love you
and I can't seem to stop now.
I have fallen -
deeply
for the ray of sunshine
that you have brought
into my life.
You're like a drug running through my blood;
intoxicating and delicious -
and without, I'm delirious.
You've possessed me, my love -
you've taken control over my whole being.
You're my addiction
and I'm your helpless junkie
and I love this feeling -
I love being under your spell,
being consumed by you.
Yet you cut me off...
It's true;
a monster like me
shouldn't have covet love.
A monster like me
shouldn't have fallen for
the sun like you.
Yasmin Kamal is an undergraduate at Open University Malaysia. When she isn't busy rescuing stray cats, you can find her on Instagram, where she regularly uploads her ramblings which are thinly veiled as either prose or poetry.
(In the poet's own words) 'Emptying' is about the plight of a person who is both an empathy and introvert and their struggle to survive in the harsh, cynical world out there. 'Icarus in Love' revolves around a person who is unrequited in love with a being seen as perfect (the Sun) while they consider themselves as imperfect (the monster).